


second chances

by lauraxtennant



Series: Ten/Rose Collection 2015 [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3739426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauraxtennant/pseuds/lauraxtennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at what could have happened if the Doctor had come back five minutes too late to say “did I mention, it also travels in time?” and, as such, Rose had to stumble into his life later than they’d both originally wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the anon who prompted this on tumblr :)

“Nestene Consciousness? Easy,” grinned the Doctor, with a click of his fingers.

“You were useless in there. You’d be dead if it wasn’t for me,” retorted Rose proudly.

His smile softened. “Yes, I would. Thank you. Right then, I’ll be off. Unless, er, I don’t know…you could come with me? This box isn’t just a London hopper, you know. It goes anywhere in the universe, free of charge.”

Mickey grabbed hold of her leg. “Don’t. He’s an alien. He’s a thing!”

“He’s _not_ invited. What do you think? You could stay here, fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go…anywhere.”

Rose bit her lip. “Is it always this dangerous?”

He wasn’t going to lie to her. “Yeah.”

She was tempted. Very tempted. But then Mickey whimpered and tightened his hold on her leg and it was like she was jerked back to reality. She shook her head as she replied, “Yeah, I can’t. I’ve er, I’ve got to go and find my mum, and someone’s got to look after this stupid lump, so.”

The Time Lord swallowed hard with the rejection, but managed a small smile, trying not to show her how disappointed he was. “Okay. See you around.”

He stepped inside his ship and it dematerialised right in front of Rose and Mickey. Her stomach churned in regret. She looked down at her boyfriend. “Come on, let’s go. Come on.” They walked back to her flat.

Five minutes later, the TARDIS reappeared in the spot he’d vacated earlier. He popped his head out, and his hearts sank as he realised she’d already left. Sighing sadly, he thought about going to see her – he knew where she lived, after all. But then he realised that that would be tantamount to pestering her, and her mum probably wouldn’t have appreciated some old man knocking on her door asking to take her daughter away. He shut the TARDIS doors again and returned to the console. And he left.

::

The Doctor wasn’t really looking where he was going when he stepped out of the TARDIS, so it was his own fault when he crashed into someone. He reflexively grabbed at the woman’s arms, holding her upright as he quickly apologised for nearly knocking her over. When she looked up at him, his eyebrows jumped up his forehead.

“Rose Tyler!” he greeted in surprise.

“Oh!” The breath went out of her. “Oh my god. It’s you, isn’t it?” she asked, her eyes widening. “You’re the Doctor!”

The Doctor smiled. “Yes. Hello, Rose.” His brow furrowed slightly. “How did you know it was me?”

“The big blue box was a give-away. Plus, I recently ran into an old friend of yours who told me about how you can change your face – regeneration, isn’t it?”

“Yes…” he said warily. “Which friend?”

“Sarah Jane Smith.”

He gaped at her for a moment. “Oh. Wow.” He swallowed. “How is she? And how did you bump into her?”

She fiddled with her earring shyly. “I’ve, er. I’ve sort of been researching into - well. Into you.” She saw the look he gave her and hurried to add, “Not in a creepy way! Promise. I just…”

“Rose, it’s okay.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. “I’m sure I had quite the effect on your curiosity.”

“Well, yeah.” Rose cleared her throat. “Come for a walk?” she suggested, biting her lip.

He was quite sure he shouldn’t feel so delighted by the prospect, and tried not to let his eagerness show too much. “If you want,” he shrugged.

They set off along the path, and Rose admitted that she’d been keeping an eye out for the Doctor for a while.

“Why?”

“Because I – I wanted to see you again.”

He sniffed casually and sat down on a nearby bench.

“Is that so wrong?” she asked, sitting down next to him, warily taking in his non-reaction.

“You didn’t want to come with me.”

“I did!” she interrupted quickly. “But – Mickey – I had to stay. I thought I had to stay. But as soon as you left I knew I’d made a mistake. If you’d come back and asked again I would’ve jumped at the chance to change my mind.”

His hearts clenched tightly in his chest. “I did,” he said softly.

“Did what?”

“I came back. You’d left, though, and I didn’t think it’d be right to pester you by going to your flat.”

Rose stared at him, gobsmacked. “You came back?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Bugger! Wish I’d stayed in that spot a bit longer, then.”

“Wish I’d landed a few minutes earlier,” the Doctor admitted before he could stop himself.

Rose’s eyes widened. “You really wanted me to come with you?”

He shrugged. “Well, I thought you’d be quite useful.”

Her eyes narrowed, this time. “Useful?” she echoed.

“Mmm. Useful.”

“For what?”

“Saving the world. Cheering me up. Company, and all that.”

Her expression softened. “Oh.”

“Anyway, it’s all right,” he said briskly. “Found someone else to bring along not long after.” He watched her as she took in this news with an audible swallow.

“I see,” she murmured.

“Donna – that’s her name. She’s brilliant.”

“Right. Well. That’s great!” Rose tried to smile.

“And there’s Martha, too,” he said next. “Medical student. Indispensable. Couldn’t do without her.”

“Right, yeah, okay.”

“And Jack – he’s from the 51st century, an ex-Time Agent. Helps me out, what with the TARDIS and - ”

“I get it,” Rose said, half-laughing. “No room left at the inn.”

“What?” He blinked at her in confusion.

“Well, the TARDIS seems pretty full,” she said, standing up.

The Doctor stood too, panicking a bit that she was apparently leaving.

“And I’ve got no skills to offer, so,” she continued, with a sad sort of smile. “Just wanted to check you were all right, anyway.” She gestured behind her. “I’ll get going, then. Nice to see you. Look me up if you need me to help you take down some shop window dummies again.” She flashed him a grin and turned, starting to walk away.

He moved with her, catching up easily. He cleared his throat. “Ah, you see, the thing is.”

Rose glanced at him as she realised he was walking with her. “Yeah?”

The Doctor tugged on his ear. “It’s just – well – I, er.”

“Yeah?”

“You can still come aboard. If you want. Always room for one more.”

Rose fought back a smile, trying not to get her hopes up. “But the others - ”

“They won’t mind,” he answered her quickly.

“I was gonna say that you don’t need me – you’ve got them.”

“Right, well, yeah, I have. But - I’d quite like it if you were to join us.”

“Would you, though?”

“Yes.”

Rose bit her lip. “Are you sure they wouldn’t mind?”

“Course not. Besides, even if they did – my TARDIS, my rules.”

Rose rolled her eyes.

“But they won’t mind, anyway,” he amended. “They’re very friendly people. You’ll like them. Only travel with the best, and they are that, Rose. You’ll all get along famously.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He smiled at her encouragingly. “So – will you come?”

Her face split into a wide, happy grin. “Yes, please.”

::

On their walk back to the TARDIS, the Doctor asked Rose if she wanted to go home to pack a bag and say goodbye to her Mum, seeing as they had plenty of time before the others would be getting back from their respective visits. Rose was surprised that he remembered to ask this, but agreed quickly before he could retract his suggestion.

“And I suppose you’ve got that, um…” began the Doctor quietly, “That Rickey bloke to tell, too.”

Rose’s eyebrows lifted. “Yeah – well, it’s Mickey – but, um. We’re not together any more, so, no problem there.”

“Oh. Sorry about that.”

“You don’t sound sorry,” Rose laughed, bumping her shoulder against his.

“I - ” he paused; shrugged a shoulder. “Just thought you could do better than Rickey the Idiot, that’s all.”

“It’s Mickey, and he’s still my mate. You knew him all of five minutes, what do you know, anyway?”

“Rose, he was clinging to your legs like a lost little boy.”

“He was scared! Aliens and all that are hard to get used to!”

“You managed. Martha and Donna managed - ”

“Yeah, but Mickey’s – I dunno. He’s all right now, anyway. Started getting into all the government conspiracy stuff – that they’re hiding their knowledge of aliens and that sort of thing.”

“Well, he’s not wrong,” the Doctor conceded. They’d reached the TARDIS. “Right! I’ll go back in here and you go do the domestics, and - ”

“No way,” she said, continuing to walk and pulling him along with her.

“What?!”

“I’m not having you fob me off with that and then disappear on me again.”

“I won’t!” he insisted.

“I know you won’t, ‘cos you’re coming to Mum’s with me.”

“Oh no, I’m really not,” he said hurriedly, trying to extricate his arm from hers.

“Yeah, you are.” She glanced up at him. “Please, Doctor. It’ll only take fifteen minutes, max.”

He promptly realised that her wide eyes and bottom lip would be the death of him. “Fine,” he sighed loudly. “Just this once. But I’m not going inside - ”

“Doctor.”

“Your mother came on to me when I was in your flat before, you know.”

“She did what?” He blinked innocently at her and she conceded, “Right, yeah, you’re staying outside the front door.”

The Doctor grinned. Rose, confident that he would no longer bolt at the first opportunity, released his arm from its position under hers. The backs of their hands brushed as their arms returned to their sides. They both jerked slightly at the contact, but neither remarked on it.

::

The Doctor was right. As soon as Rose was on board, she made fast friends with Donna, Martha and Jack. The five of them became a proper team, having adventures on planets all over the universe and getting into trouble on at least half of them. Rose loved it.

The Doctor told her, one night, as they sat side by side on the jumpseat in the console room, watching Donna spin a blindfolded Jack around as they played Blind Man’s Bluff, that the TARDIS had never been so full.

He had such a lovely little smile on his face and a soft look in his eye that Rose was certain his hearts felt full, too.

::

The Doctor enjoyed having such a noisy TARDIS - it meant his friends were there, and that they were happy. But sometimes he did like to take advantage of the quiet that night brought, which was why he was sitting on the sofa reading in the library when Rose unexpectedly padded into the room, interrupting his usual alone time. He looked up, a crease of worry forming in between his eyebrows. It was gone midnight, and usually she was asleep by now. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just couldn’t switch off,” Rose murmured. She bit her lip hesitantly. “Is it okay if I join you?”

“Of course.” He patted the space next to him on the sofa and they shared a small smile.

“What’re you reading?” she asked, as she settled herself beside him.

“Great Expectations,” he answered. “Ever read it?”

Rose shook her head. “Only Dickens book we read in school was Oliver Twist.”

“I could read this aloud, if you want.”

“A bedtime story for the human?” she grinned, touching the corner of her mouth with her tongue. She had a tendency to do that.

He shrugged. “If you want,” he repeated.

“Okay. Yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem.” He began to read from the beginning.

When he paused at one point to turn a page, Rose said softly, “You’re good at this narration stuff. You’ve got the voice for it.”

“Have I?”

“Yeah,” she replied shyly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Well, at least I know if the travelling doesn’t work out then I’ll have a career in voice-over work,” he said cheerily, and she giggled.

He continued to read, but soon noticed that Rose’s eyelids were growing heavy “Shall I stop?”

“No, keep going,” she said, fighting back a yawn. “It’s not boring, honest – I’m just tired.”

“You should head back to bed.”

“Not yet,” she said. “I want to hear what happens next.”

The Doctor proceeded with the tale, and when she nodded off five minutes later, he carried on reading, but silently. He was planning on waking her gently after he’d finished the chapter, so that she could go back to her room. But quite unusually, he ended up dozing off himself.

When he awoke four hours later, the Doctor’s eyes widened, startled to find himself turned horizontally on the sofa with Rose asleep against him, her hand resting on his chest. They must have quite unconsciously shifted around to get more comfortable in their sleep.

He didn’t know what to do; he should wake her, get her to move, but he didn’t want to embarrass her. And it wasn’t like it was an unpleasant position to be in, stretched out alongside his friend. He took off his glasses and placed them on top of the book that had slipped to the floor during his nap. One of his arms was trapped beneath Rose so he moved it slowly out, needing to shake out the pins and needles he’d acquired. This resulted in her curling into him more, her head now pillowed between his neck and shoulder, her lips almost grazing his collar bone through his shirts. His arm less numb, he curved it around Rose’s back, keeping her in her new position.

It wasn’t like it meant anything. He’d hugged her quite a bit in the weeks she’d been travelling with him, and this was hardly any different. And so what if the way she’d snuggled against him with her leg thrown over one of his seemed a little too close for just friends? No one was going to know. All their other friends were in bed. Rose herself would probably wake up in a few hours and laugh it off.

And she was so warm. He hadn’t slept this closely beside someone else for decades; he’d forgotten how nice it was to have someone else’s warmth seeping into one’s body just from mere closeness.

He tilted his head slightly to take a look at her face. She was sleeping peacefully. It would be a shame to wake her up now. A crime, almost.

So he closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep again, his arms full of Rose.

::

When Rose stirred a few hours later, she couldn’t believe what she was doing. She was _cuddling_ the Doctor. The Doctor. He didn’t really strike her as a cuddly sort of person so she didn’t know what to do; he wouldn’t be angry with her, would he? She hadn’t meant to fall asleep in here and she certainly hadn’t meant to fall asleep situated in his arms.

It clicked, then. Rose wasn’t just cuddling up to him; he was cuddling her back. She sighed in relief. They were as much to blame as each other, so he couldn’t have a go at her about it. Still, she wasn’t sure whether to move now, or wait until he woke up. Something inside her wanted to see what his reaction to their position would be. Would he make a joke of it? Shrug it off as nothing?

Did he fall asleep like this with the others now and then, too?

Just then, she felt him shift subtly as though stretching as he awoke. Rose slowly lifted her head and took in his expression. He smiled at her gently. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” she mumbled back, her heart hammering.

“It seems we fell asleep,” he observed, making no move to get up.

“Yeah.”

He chuckled and slowly sat up, dislodging their arms from around one another. “Must say, haven’t had a cuddle in a while.”

She swallowed thickly and tried a cheeky smile. “No?”

“Nope.” He looked back at her, his eyes soft. “It was nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” she replied. “Best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages.”

His smile transformed into a grin. “Me too.” Then, he swung his legs over the side of the sofa and jumped up, raising his arms above his head in a long stretch.

Rose couldn’t help but stare at he exposed skin of his lower back where his shirt had been untucked and ridden up. When he turned around, she snapped her eyes up to his face.

“Fancy some breakfast?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

He held out his hand to pull her to her feet. Her breath hitched a bit as their hands clasped firmly, and then she was standing right in front of him, barely a few inches away, and he was staring at her and she was staring right back. He released her hand and reached his own up to tug on his earlobe, spinning away from her and making for the door, the moment gone. “Let’s go then. I fancy toast.”

Rose quite fancied him, she realised, but she couldn’t exactly say that out loud, nor did she really want to admit to herself that she had a crush on a nine hundred and something alien.

::

They moved easily around one another in the kitchen, making breakfast. She’d hand him a plate and he’d hand her the mugs and, inconceivably in sync, they made their toast and tea. When she stepped over to the fridge to grab the milk, she handed the butter to him without even looking. He passed her the teabags and she spooned in their sugar and by the time she’d set their mugs on the kitchen table, a pile of buttered toast was being placed down by the Doctor. He grabbed two extra plates, two knives, and the marmalade and marmite, so that they could grab as much toast as they wanted from the middle and add their own spreads.

“Wonder where the others are,” Rose mumbled, as she bit into her slice. She stretched out her legs beneath the table and accidentally brushed his calf with one of her feet. He didn’t remark on it so she settled her legs in such a way that they were casually touching his. He didn’t move.

“It’s still early, yet,” he answered eventually, raising the mug to his lips. He burned his tongue; the tea was still too hot and he seemed distracted.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he muttered, scraping his tongue against his front teeth and wincing.

They fell into a comfortable silence for a bit, eating and drinking, and then Rose asked, “Where are we going today?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You.” He smiled at her.

“I…I don’t mind. I don’t know,” she stumbled over her answer.

“Why do you look so surprised?”

“Just, I don’t usually get to make a decision like this, do I?” she laughed softly. “Mind’s gone blank.”

“I’ll take you wherever you want to go, Rose,” he said. “You just say the word.”

The way his voice kept dipping into that soft, murmuring tone – it was doing things to her. She didn’t get why he was suddenly speaking to her like that, but she liked it. It was almost – she shook away the thought. Any affection he felt for her was just the platonic kind. She had to get that straight in her head.

“Um…I’ll have a think, then. Thank you,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome,” he grinned.

“Do you want the last slice of toast? I’m full.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “All right then, ta.” He wolfed it down and she giggled. “What?”

“You. I don’t know where you put it all,” she replied.

“Excellent Time Lord metabolism.”

“Lucky git.”

His eyebrows rose. “It’s not like you need to be jealous.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, you’re - ” he floundered for the right word. He landed on, “Healthy.”

“Healthy,” she said flatly.

He coughed awkwardly. “Yes. Healthy. You don’t need to worry about what you eat or whatever.”

“Not what Mickey used to say,” she admitted. “He used to ‘remind’ me not to eat too many chips.”

The Doctor huffed. “Don’t listen to anyone else; you eat what you want. I’ll never understand the human obsession with policing other people’s diets.”

“No?”

“Nope.”

She smiled. “I’d still better be careful, though; don’t want to end up not being able to keep up with you.”

“You run for your life often enough; that’s all the exercise you need. So eat chips and be happy.”

Rose laughed. “I like you.”

“Yeah?”

His eyes were sparkling at her across the table. She bit her lip nervously. “Yeah.”

“I like you too,” he murmured.

“That’s…that’s good,” she whispered back.

They sat and looked at each other for a few moments, but broke their gaze when Martha and Donna came into the room. Both of them were already dressed, and it made Rose realise that she was still in her pyjamas. “I’d better go and get ready,” she said hastily, standing up. “See you in a bit.” She fled the kitchen without looking back at the others. For some reason, the events of the morning had all caught up with her and her cheeks were heating up. She didn’t want the Doctor, or the others, to see her blushing.

::

There was a distinct possibility that the Doctor was letting himself look at Rose a bit too much. He first realised this possibility when he took his friends to a beach on Traos. The climate was warm and the ocean an inviting shade of blue, and of course all the humans wanted to linger and swim and sunbathe. At first, the Doctor didn’t really see the appeal, but his opinion drastically changed when Rose emerged from the TARDIS in a scarlet bikini and matching sarong.

As soon as he caught a glimpse of her, he glanced quickly away, but there was nothing he could do to ignore the increasingly rapid beating of his hearts. His face was a mask of indifference, of course, and he maintained this for at least three minutes; right up until Jack started playfully chasing her across the otherwise unoccupied beach. The growl that emitted from deep in his chest then was quite involuntary, but Donna unfortunately noticed it.

“What was that noise for?” she asked him, raising her eyebrows.

The Doctor sniffed, and laid out the towels Martha had handed to him before she’d bounded for the sea just now. “Nothing.”

Donna looked sceptical but didn’t press him on it, which was unusual. Still, he wasn’t complaining. The last thing he wanted was to be interrogated on why he was so agitated about his friend making moves on their newest companion. Because that was what Jack was doing, and the Doctor knew it; he’d seen the interest in Jack’s eyes as soon as Rose joined them on the TARDIS. And now that Rose was looking so – so – well, so nice, and under-dressed, well, there was no doubt in the Doctor’s mind that Jack would be making an attempt at seduction at some point. Which was completely unacceptable, because he wouldn’t have Rose being treated in such a way.

“Relax, Jack’s harmless,” Donna muttered, as she sat on one of the towels. She popped open a bottle of sun cream and started applying it to her arms. “He’s not gonna try anything.”

“What?” said the Doctor, as he sat down beside her.

“You look all stormy and worried. But you don’t need to, ‘cos Jack won’t do anything to hurt or take advantage of her.”

“He fancies her,” the Doctor said without meaning to. He loosened his tie, placing it on the towel beside him as he unbuttoned the top couple of buttons on his shirt.

“Probably, but Jack fancies everyone,” Donna replied.

The Doctor sighed. “I suppose.” He rolled up his shirtsleeves and glanced out across the water. “I didn’t know Martha was such a good swimmer.”

Donna followed his line of sight. “Yeah, she told me she was on the swimming team at school.”

“You gonna take a dip?” he asked, nodding his head towards the sea. As much as he enjoyed Donna’s company, he’d quite like to lie down and sort through his thoughts on his own for a bit.

She finished applying her sun cream and shook her head. “No, not yet. I’d only have to put this on all over again if I went in now. I burn badly and quickly without it.” She glanced at him. “You’re quite pale – do you want some?”

“Nah, Time Lord. I won’t burn.”

“All right then,” she shrugged, and fished a book out from her beach bag. “I’m gonna read for a bit.”

The Doctor nodded absently. “Okay. I might take a walk.” He stood up, and began to do just that.

Rose and Jack were playing with a frisbee when he reached them. And they were playing it quite determinedly. So determinedly, in fact, that Rose was jumping about all over the place in her efforts to catch the damn thing. The sight made the Doctor swallow hard. Surely it wasn’t rational, he thought, that his eyes would be drawn so hypnotically to Rose Tyler’s chest in that moment. He was a Time Lord. Time Lords did not burn, Time Lords did not get drunk, and Time Lords did not stare at certain parts of his friend’s anatomy.

But right now, his cheeks felt red, his mind was as incoherent as a drunk’s, and his gaze was wavering from her face quite dramatically. She noticed him, then, and beamed, inviting him to join her and Jack’s game. He wasn’t quite sure what it was about this woman that pulled on an aspect of him he thought long forgotten, but she did, and he was helpless, hopeless, in the face of her smile.

Half-heartedly, he declined, but she persisted with those eyelashes of hers and he gave in. “All right.”

After a while, Jack wandered back to their towels for a drink, leaving them on their own.

“Let’s keep playing,” Rose said. They’d been having quite a laugh, so the Doctor was inclined to agree with her.

He nodded, dispatching the frisbee from his grasp.

She dove sideways to grab it, and her sarong came loose with her quick movement, slipping to the sand. She kicked it aside, seemingly not caring, and threw the frisbee back to him.

It hit him straight in the head.

Her first instinct, apparently, was to laugh, but then she gasped out an, “I’m so sorry!” and came dashing over to him to see if he was all right.

“It’s fine,” he smiled, rubbing at his forehead. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Rose bit her lip worriedly. “Your reaction time’s so good that I thought you’d have a chance to get it. And I didn’t realise I had that kind of aim,” she joked. “How’s it feel?” She reached up and moved his hand aside, touching the skin delicately with her fingertips.

“I’ll be all right, don’t worry,” he insisted, taking hold of her wrist to lower her hand. He met her eyes. “I forgive you.” It would’ve been callous of him not to forgive her, considering he’d been the one so enamoured of her newly-revealed thighs that he’d not reacted quickly enough to shield his head.

She smiled back and murmured, “Good. Would hate to feel guilty for hurting you almost straight away on our little holiday.”

“This isn’t really a holiday,” he scoffed quietly. “We’re only staying a day - ”

“Still,” she pressed. She looked down, to where he was still holding her wrist in a loose grasp between them. His thumb glided over her forearm briefly before he dropped it completely.

She met his gaze again and something tightened inside his chest. “Rose,” he whispered.

“Oi, you two!” Donna’s voice interrupted them. They both blinked once before turning towards the voice. Donna was gesturing for them to hurry over, so Rose picked up the frisbee and her sarong and the Doctor most definitely did not watch her bend over as she did so. They then made their way back over to their friends.

Martha had returned from her swim and was towelling off, laughing. The reason for Donna’s distress was clear. Jack had seized her into his arms, bridal style, and was gleefully threatening to run into the sea with her.

“You have to stop him,” she said firmly, but her arms were wound tightly around Jack’s neck so the Doctor wasn’t completely sure that she wasn’t enjoying it.

::

Later, they were all sunbathing on the sand, their sandwiches eaten and feeling exhausted from swimming in the sea for hours.

Rose rolled onto her front and the Doctor’s eyes involuntarily slid over to her as he saw her move. This trip had been quite the education in the bits of Rose Tyler he didn’t usually get to see; her bikini bottoms were skimpy anyway but now they had ridden up a little so that half of her bum cheeks were on display. He closed his eyes and day-dreamed of scenarios where she’d ask him to apply sun cream to her back and –

“Doctor?” Rose mumbled, her head still turned away from him. She couldn’t sense his thoughts somehow, could she?

He gulped. “Yeah?”

“I’m not burning, am I?”

“I’m sorry?”

“My back. It doesn’t look red, does it?”

“No, no,” he mumbled, then cleared his throat. “No, you’re fine.”

“Good. Might have a doze. Wake me up if you see me starting to turn into a tomato, yeah?”

She was practically giving him permission to observe her. “Of course.”

As Rose napped, the Doctor sat beside her, wrangling with his thoughts and feelings. He knew it was wrong of him to feel the things he did for her. He hardly knew her, really, compared to his other friends. She’d only be travelling with them for a month. But blimey, he was in turmoil. And it wasn’t just a physical thing – he was attracted to her, that much was evident by his current state of perpetual arousal – but something profound and emotional and completely irrational was starting to develop and he didn’t know what to do about it. Firstly, he never let himself feel like this about people he travelled with – for many reasons and complications, most startling of which was the transience of the human lifespan. And secondly, he couldn’t work out what was so different about her that it made him want to forget all the regulations and limitations he and his people had set so deeply in his mind.

He had perfect self-control, of course, so it wasn’t like he was ever going to do such a thing, but the very fact that he _wanted_ to throw the metaphorical rulebook into a supernova unsettled him significantly.

::

Just one week after their trip to the beach, the Doctor’s friends requested a picnic in a park. Given that they had spent the last six days bouncing from one planet to another, dissembling a tyrannical government or two and getting locked in prison thrice, the Doctor conceded that they deserved a bit of a break.

He landed the TARDIS on the small planet of Dex Four, a human colony in the year 3045, and they soon found an appropriately green park. The humans who had settled here had been eager to lose themselves in nature, and even the capital city had very few tower blocks and technology.

Martha and Jack went off exploring, searching for this planet’s equivalent of ice cream. Donna and Rose arranged the picnic on the grass whilst the Doctor stood, hands in pockets, people-watching. It was a busy day at this particular park, and the crowds of families and groups of friends setting up barbecues and playing with their pets and children were having a strange effect on the Doctor. He felt almost wistful. Which wasn’t an emotion he was completely unused to, of course, but there was something about this day -

He shook himself out of it and sat down in between Donna and Rose, helping himself to a handful of cocktail sausages.

“Has Jack seemed a bit odd to you, recently?” Donna said, as she poured out some orange juice.

The Doctor frowned. “How do you mean?”

“Yeah,” answered Rose at the same time. “Ever since we stopped in Cardiff.”

“What?” The Doctor was completely lost.

“I think he’s met someone,” confided Donna.

“What, like…” Rose waggled her eyebrows.

“Yeah!”

“Ohhhh. Maybe, yeah.”

The Doctor interjected, “What’s happening?”

“Jack,” said Donna slowly, as though the Doctor were daft, “He’s been acting weird. We think he might’ve been bitten by the love bug.”

Rose started giggling. “Oh, god, don’t call it that.”

“How has he been acting differently?” asked the Doctor.

“Cor, Spaceman, you aren’t half oblivious,” tutted Donna, whacking his arm.

“He’s still the same old Jack as far as I’m concerned,” insisted the Doctor. “Cocky, flirtatious, reckless - ”

“It’s no use talking to you about it,” sighed Rose. “You don’t get it.”

The Doctor was affronted. He propped himself up on his elbows and glared down at her, where she was laying with her arms pillowing her head. “Excuse me?”

“Well, you don’t notice that people change, sometimes,” she answered. “They become all sort of…what’s the word?”

“Radiant,” cackled Donna. “He’s glowing!”

Rose giggled again. “Well, maybe not quite. But let’s just say Mr Cupid has definitely paid him a visit.”

“You’ve lost me,” said the Doctor.

Both women rolled their eyes. “You’re such an alien. It’s pointless, Rose, give up. Not like the Doctor would recognise romance if it bumped him on the head,” Donna said.

“Oi!” he said crossly. “I could be romantic! Just because you’ve never seen me be romantic, doesn’t mean I couldn’t be!”

Rose and Donna burst into laughter.

The Doctor harrumphed. “I’ll prove it to you,” he said, then scrambled to his knees. He grabbed Donna’s hand theatrically and murmured, “Donna Noble, light of my life - ”

“I’m gonna be sick,” interrupted Donna, snatching her hand back and pretending to gag. “Practise on Rose!”

Rose, who had been laughing hysterically at the scene playing out in front of her, promptly became stoic and wide-eyed. “Uh, no.”

The Doctor saw his opportunity to interpret Rose’s reaction to the possibility of him acting in a romantic way towards her, and a wicked grin came upon his face. “Come on, Rose. It’ll be a laugh,” he said.

“It’ll be that all right,” chuckled Donna, watching them carefully.

“I don’t think you’d be very successful - ” began Rose, but she cut off her sentence when he suddenly jerked forwards, his hands coming to rest either side of her head as he looked deep into her eyes. His movement had brought one of his knees in between her legs, and as he crouched on all-fours above her, he reckoned he’d given her one or two ideas.

“Rose Tyler,” he said reverently. “Brave, clever, wonderful Rose Tyler.”

Rose laughed nervously. “All right, Doctor,” she said, reaching up and patting his shoulder. “You’ve proved your point.”

“I don’t think I have,” he breathed out roughly. “Did you know that when I left you that night, after you said no to coming with me, I felt like I’d just lost a second chance at happiness?”

She rolled her eyes to cover up the effect he was sure he was having on her.

“And my time senses felt all wrong. When I’d grabbed your hand and told you about the world turning beneath our feet - ”

“You remember that?”

“Of course I do. Anyway, when I did that, it felt like something connected us; potential timelines, potential futures, all spread out before me. It was incredible. So that night when I was alone in the TARDIS again, I couldn’t understand it. I was so sure - ” He paused. “But now, here you are.”

“You told me to forget you,” she whispered.

“I didn’t want you to,” he replied. “I think we were meant to find one another.” Her breath caught. He lifted a hand and brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek. “Rose - ”

“Bloody hell, don’t start snogging in front of me!” cried Donna. The Doctor launched himself backwards.

“We weren’t going to!” Rose cried back, “He was just acting, remember!”

The Doctor sat back on his haunches and met Donna’s disbelieving gaze fearlessly. “You wanted me to show you I could do romance,” he shrugged casually, trying to ignore the frantic beating of his hearts.

“That got a bit too realistic,” Donna pointed out.

“What got a bit too realistic?” asked Jack, as he and Martha returned. “And Doctor, did I just see you lying on top of Rose?”

“Nothing and no!” said Rose and the Doctor simultaneously. They froze in surprise at their synchronized words.

“What’s going on?” asked Martha suspiciously.

“Basically, we were talking about romance and how the Doctor wouldn’t know it if it pinched him on the bum, and then he tried to woo me but I nearly threw up, so he made a move on Rose and it all got very heated.”

“No it didn’t, stop twisting it,” Rose huffed.

“And I wasn’t lying on top of her; I was just sort of hovering over her. For acting purposes! I was trying to prove a point. That’s all.”

“So he started going on about destiny and love at first sight,” clarified Donna.

“Donna!” whined the Doctor. “Stop spreading such lies! I did no such thing.”

Jack and Martha looked bewildered, and the Doctor wasn’t surprised because that was exactly how he felt about the entire situation, and he’d been there the whole time.

“Riiiight,” said Jack slowly, handing out ice lollies. “I dunno what’s really going on here but this is a public park, Doc, you gotta keep your hands off Rose ‘til you get somewhere private.”

Donna chuckled. The Doctor and Rose looked horrified.

Martha tactfully cleared her throat, “Anyway, guess what Jack confessed to me just now.”

“Martha that was said in confidence!” complained Jack.

“Ooh, what? Give us the juicy details,” said Donna.

“He met someone in Cardiff.”

“I knew it!” shouted Donna.

Jack groaned. Martha recounted to them all Jack had told her about a man called Ianto Jones – that he was handsome, funny, and entirely off-limits.

“He has a girlfriend,” Jack admitted, shrugging. “But there was definitely some chemistry there!”

“How did you meet?” asked Rose.

“Bumped into him while the TARDIS was recharging. He works for some company called Torchwood or something. Anyway, he was scoping out the Bay. We got chatting. I know it’s stupid to still even be thinking about him; not like he thought anything of the encounter, probably. But…there’s something about him. Can’t quite put my finger on it. But I’ll get over it.”

“Like hell you will,” said Donna. “Doctor, take us back to Cardiff. We’ve got to check this guy out.”

The Doctor spoke for the first time in ages, glad to finally get a word in, “Jack said he has a girlfriend.”

“So?” scoffed Martha. “Doesn’t mean we can’t take a look.”

“Where has your morality gone, honestly,” sighed the Doctor dramatically. “I dunno, I’m going around with people willing to break up relationships, tsk.”

“We’re not gonna break up any relationships,” said Jack. “And we’re not gonna find him. He’s from Cardiff but he works in London normally, he told me. He could be anywhere.”

::

It was days later that the Doctor mentioned anything about their time in the park.

Rose looked up in surprise as the Doctor was flung into the prison cell with her. The door shut and locked behind him. So much for relying on him to come and get her.

“You all right?” she asked, noting that he was rubbing his arm.

“Yeah, just a bit bruised. You?” He came and sat next to her on the cold concrete floor.

“I’m fine,” she replied, then shivered. “Just freezing.”

“Here,” he murmured, taking his coat off and draping it around her.

She smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you. You’re lovely.”

“I’m a Time Lord,” he shrugged. “Won’t get too cold. Superior -”

“Biology, yes, you’ve said,” she giggled. She rested her head on his shoulder. “How long do you reckon we’ll be stuck here for, then?”

“Ooh, shouldn’t take Jack and co longer than a couple of hours to track us down. We’ll be fine. At least we’ve got each other for company.”

“How come, by the way? Thought you got away.”

“I did.”

“Then why did you come back?”

“Was trying to get you out.”

“You should’ve waited for the others. They could’ve acted as a distraction, saved you getting caught by the guards.”

“I didn’t want to wait,” he said.

Rose glanced up at him. “What?”

He met her gaze steadily. “I didn’t want to wait until the others got here. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She pulled his coat tighter around her shoulders, feeling another shiver go through her. She was eighty-five per cent certain that it wasn’t because of the cold this time, though. Had his eyes always been that dark?

“I didn’t mind – didn’t want you getting caught too,” she whispered.

“Well, too late now,” he said breezily, looking away.

She tentatively rested her head back on his shoulder, worried that he would flinch. He didn’t. In fact, he brought his arm up and around her shoulders, holding her against his side. “What shall we talk about?” she asked.

“We could talk about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. You enjoying it, so far?”

“What, being stuck in a prison cell?”

He squeezed her shoulder. “No, not this bit. But generally, travelling with me – do you like it?”

“Of course I do. Why? Do you want me to leave?”

He chuckled. “No, I don’t want you to leave.” He exhaled slowly. “I want you to stay for – for as long as you want to stay.”

She grinned up at him. “Forever, then.”

His smile faded. “I wish,” he murmured, so quietly that Rose would have thought she’d misheard had she not been staring at his lips and seen them move.

“Yeah?” she murmured back.

He nodded once. “Rose…”

“Yes?” She watched as the Doctor swallowed hard before speaking.

“Um, do you remember – what I said, in the park, the other day. When Donna was – when she was taking the mick, a bit. About what I said.”

“When you were showing us you had a romantic soul?” she teased.

He hesitated. “Well, if you have to put it like that. Yes.”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Those things I was saying…I know we were just playacting and all that, but – I wanted you to know that – that - ”

Rose’s heart rate increased rapidly. “That what?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have said them if they didn’t – if in some way they weren’t true.”

Her eyes widened. “You really meant all that stuff?”

“Well, I suppose – yes.”

“Doctor, I…”

“I fancied it up a bit, of course. Wouldn’t be quite that poetic, really, but, well, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you and, um.” He paused, his cheeks pink. “I’m glad you decided to come with me. Us. I’m glad you decided to come with us.”

“I’m glad too,” she said quietly. “Thank you for asking me again.”

He nodded, smiling shyly, and wrapped his other arm around her to draw her into a hug. “Thank you for saying yes.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh, it’s so quiet,” Rose said sleepily, through a yawn, as she stepped into the library.

“Too quiet,” the Doctor grumbled to himself. He was fiddling with something in his lap, and Rose expected it was a TARDIS part. “Much, much too quiet.”

She frowned and ran a hand through her hair, trying to get rid of the tangles. “Where is everyone?”

“We’ve parked in London. Your time. They’re visiting their families and all that.” He looked up at her finally. “Do you want to go and see Jackie?”

“Nah,” she said, shrugging a shoulder. “I’m okay.”

He arched an eyebrow. “That’s not like you.”

“I just don’t feel like going to Mum’s today, that’s all. Can I sit down?”

“Of course,” he said, patting the seat next to him.

She grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa and curled up in the corner, draping it across her. “Fancy having a sofa day.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched as he said, “My goodness, you’re boring. Why ever did I ask you to come with me?”

Rose kicked his thigh lightly with an, “Oi!”

He chuckled to himself, and resumed tinkering with the part in his hands.

“So, um, don’t you ever go with them? Any of them?”

“What?” he replied absently.

“To see Donna or Martha’s family, or with Jack to see his bloke.”

“Oh.” He sniffed. “Nah.”

“Why not? Seems to me like you were just complaining about how quiet it is in here. You must get…” She bit her lip, hesitant. “You must get lonely. I’m sure their Mums wouldn’t mind you popping along with them for dinner or something - ”

The Doctor laughed, and put the part on the coffee table, turning to face Rose. “I stay as far away as possible from Sylvia and Francine. Neither of them are fond of me. Not that I even want them to be.” He gave a shudder. “I don’t do families.”

Rose eyed him suspiciously. “Right.”

“Anyway, I’m used to being on my own, it’s no big deal.”

“Doctor…can we talk?” She got to her knees to move closer to him, then settled in by his side.

“We’re talking now, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, but I mean – look, we never really get a chance, the two of us, to talk just…with us. You know? I’ve been here nearly two months now, and I feel like, I dunno, maybe we ought to know each other better than we do.”

“I think we know each other very well,” he murmured.

Rose shrugged. “Still. Can we – I know you don’t like sitting still for very long, but I just – I dunno, maybe it’s daft, but I’d just like to spend some time with you. Just, like this. Talking. Would that be okay?”

He stared at her for a few moments, eyes guarded, then smiled and nodded his agreement. Rose exhaled the breath she’d been holding and smiled back.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked her.

“Dunno. Silly things, first. Like…what’s your favourite colour?” she grinned.

“Brown.”

Rose tugged on his pinstriped jacket. “Right, should’ve guessed.”

“And TARDIS blue, of course. But that goes without saying.”

“Oh, definitely.”

“You?”

“Red.”

“Good choice.”

“What about favourite food?”

He scratched at his chin in thought. “Ooh, they do these lovely pastries in a little cafe on Xenda. I’ll take you there one day to try them, you’d love it. All sorts of fillings! Naturally, my favourite is one with a banana filling. Well, I say banana…”

“All right, I get it,” Rose laughed.

He gave her a look. “I already know your favourite food.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Of course. Chips! You don’t stop going on about them.”

“Oi!” She poked his arm. “Then maybe you should take me for some, sometime.”

“Maybe I should, if it’ll stop you moaning.” He raised his voice in imitation of her as he continued, “‘Oh Doctor, why do they do everything here on this spacestation but _chips?’”_

“I do not sound like that,” she huffed, but she couldn’t stop her lips from twitching. Her stomach growled at the mere thought of chips, however, so she hoped they could stop by a chippy at some point today.

He smiled. “Go on, where would you rather go next? To see the sights on some magnificent planet, or down the road here for a soggy bit of fish and chips wrapped up in newspaper?”

She sniffed. “They don’t wrap it in newspaper anymore. And it wouldn’t be soggy, thank you.”

“If you say so,” he grinned.

Rose shuffled closer to him on the sofa. “So, what’s your favourite place to visit in the universe?”

“Earth.”

“Oh, come on,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“It’s true! I love this planet. All you humans, so capable of so much. Terrible things, too, of course, but so much kindness, so much empathy. As you might gather from the demographics of this TARDIS, can’t get enough of you lot.”

She raised her eyebrows with a small laugh. “That sounds almost a bit dodgy, Doctor.”

He bumped her shoulder with his. “Oh, you know what I mean. You humans make great companions.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep!”

Rose couldn’t resist teasing him. “And what about for _companions?”_ she asked, lowering her voice.

“Hmm?” He looked at her blankly for a moment, but when she waggled her eyebrows he seemed to get it. “Honestly, Rose Tyler. The things you think of.”

“What, and you don’t? Come on, it must’ve crossed your mind that people might assume…well, you know.”

“Assume what?”

“You and your spaceship full of friends. I know what my Mum thinks, for example…”

He wrinkled his nose. “Oh, and we must all take into consideration what Jackie Tyler thinks, because it must be true.”

“I’m not saying that,” Rose laughed. “But it’s just - well, look at Jack. Flirts with everyone, don’t he?”

“He has that Welsh fellow, now.”

“True, but he’s still a flirt.”

“What’s your point?”

“Don’t Time Lords ever do that?”

“I flirt all the time!”

She gave him a funny look. “Yeah. You charm everyone. Usually to get yourself out of trouble. But it’s not the same - anyone starts flirting with you back and you don’t know what to do with yourself!”

“I resent that,” he said, adjusting his tie. “I know very well what I’m doing.”

“You reckon?”

“Yep.”

She giggled, tucking her legs up underneath her as she adjusted her position on the sofa. “So what happened last week then, when that woman tried to give you her number and you were so shocked you stepped backwards and tripped over a bin bag?”

“‘That woman’ was your mother’s friend! It’s hardly a fair example.”

“Oh, Bev will be pleased to hear that.”

“Yes, well, if you could tell her to stop harassing me every time I drop you at your Mum’s, that would be lovely. Doesn’t she realise that I’m - ” He broke off, his eyes widening.

She tilted her head, curious. “That you’re what? An alien? Course she doesn’t, can’t exactly spread that around, can I?”

“I meant - no, you’re right. Yes. Course not.”

“Why are you going pink?”

“What?”

“You’re blushing.”

“No I’m not.” He cleared his throat. “It’s just, I was under the impression that your mother had told people that I was…”

Rose squinted at him for a moment before she realised. “Wait, you mean our cover story for why I’m away so much?”

He nodded.

“I told Mum to tell ‘em that I was travelling with friends.” She lifted a shoulder. “Which I am.”

“But - hm.”

“What?”

“Well, when I was on my way back to the TARDIS once, one of your neighbours started chatting and it seemed she thought we were together. I assumed your mum had said that for simplicity.”

She swallowed. “I didn’t know that. Why didn’t you say?”

He shrugged. “Didn’t seem important.”

They were quiet for a few moments.

“I’ve made things awkward, haven’t I?” he said, wincing. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I was just thinking that I’d have to have a word with Mum.”

“You - ” He hesitated. “You don’t have to. I mean. If it’s easier to just…leave it. I don’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm.”

She stared at him, nibbling on her bottom lip in thought. “Okay.”

Briefly, his gaze flickered to her mouth, and then he was clearing his throat and saying quickly, “Do you want to watch a film?”

“Oh, um, sure. Yeah.”

“You pick.”

::

To Rose’s surprise, he tolerated her film choice, some clichéd buddy cop comedy, and as they watched it together, the atmosphere soon lost its awkwardness of before. They sat close together as usual, with a bowl of popcorn between them, and traded jokes and comments back and forth as the unimaginative script of the movie played on.

“You know, Mickey used to have a go at me for talking through films,” Rose said, throwing a bit of popcorn in the air with the intention of catching it in her mouth. Before she could, the Doctor moved his head closer and stole it from her, grinning as he chewed. “I was gonna say that makes you a better person to watch films with, ‘cos you babble even more than me, but since you just stole my popcorn I’m rethinking that.”

He draped his arm around her shoulders and gave her an affectionate squeeze. “Oh, I’m just getting you back for stealing all my ice cream last week.”

“That was an _emergency,”_ she said, ferreting through the bowl for any popcorn left that wasn’t just unpopped kernels.

“How do you work that out?”

“Me, Martha and Donna were in drastic need of it.” She threw a kernel at him. “Women’s reasons.”

“Ah. Fair enough. Synced up, have you?”

“Shut it,” she laughed, nudging him with her elbow.

He hummed and nodded his head towards the telly. “Film’s nearly over. You enjoying your lazy day?”

“I am. Why, you getting restless?”

“No, no.”

“’Cos you can go tinker or wander about if you want. I won’t mind.”

“It’s fine. It’s nice, having company while the others are out.”

She tilted her head to look at him properly. “Doctor, you are always welcome to come with me to Mum’s for dinner, you know. Instead of just leaving after dropping me off. The neighbours must think you hate her, eh? If you’re supposed to be my boyfriend according to them, or whatever.” She grinned, sticking her tongue between her teeth, but he didn’t laugh, which confused her. Instead, he stroked her hair back from her face and sighed.

“Just a bit worried I’d mess it up,” he admitted.

“How do you mean?”

“Well. Jackie’s hardly my biggest fan, is she.”

“If you got to know her, maybe you two would get along.”

He chuckled.

“You might!” Rose insisted, with a laugh. “Go on, come just the once. Next time I see her. Yeah? Promise I’ll never bring it up again if you hate it. It’s just, I don’t like the thought of you moping about here by yourself whilst we’re all out with our families.”

“I don’t mope about.”

“You do.” She stroked his chest. “You - you can be part of mine. Of all of ours. If you want.” The expression on his face, after she said that, made her eyes water. “What?” she asked.

The Doctor cupped her cheek. “Nothing,” he said, in a low voice. “I just…thank you.”

“So you’ll come?”

He nodded.

Rose smiled, and before she realised what she was doing, she’d leant forwards, closer to him, and without thought she followed the momentum through and pressed her lips to his. The Doctor grasped her upper arms instantly, presumably to push her away, and she flushed, ducking her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I really didn’t mean to do that, I just…Sorry.”

The Doctor, still holding on to her, cleared his throat. “It’s – Rose, I know what I said was - but I didn’t mean - I don’t, um, I don’t do things like that.”

“I know.” Shame burned through her and she couldn’t meet his eyes. She wanted to back away and run to her room to wallow in her embarrassment there, but he had a steadfast hold on her biceps.

“I mean, I haven’t – it’s – with a travelling companion, I can’t, wouldn’t. It’s – it’d make things messy and complicated and, um - ” he stammered out.

“No, I know, it’s fine, I was just being daft. I don’t know why I - ”

“ – I just want you to know that it’s nothing personal, it’s not – it’s just, I’ve never done that. And I just can’t. It’s just one of those – rules, I suppose, that I’ve made for myself. Not that I’ve felt compelled to break it before, or – ” he closed his mouth with a click.

Rose slowly raised her head, internally cursing her heated cheeks for providing such an outward visual of her mortification. “It’s all right, Doctor. It’s me that should be apologising.”

He met her gaze and they stared at one another for a few moments. Rose watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed. Then, abruptly, he released her arms and stood up. “I’ve just – er, I’ll be back in mo. I’ve just got to – yeah.”

He practically fled the room. Rose squeezed her eyes shut, regret settling heavy in her stomach. They’d been having such a nice time. Chatting and laughing and sitting so close together all throughout that film, and her side still tingled from where it had been pressed up against him, and then she’d gone and ruined it by trying to kiss him and what had she been thinking, anyway, she knew he would never make a move like that, knew that sort of thing wasn’t in his nature, never mind the way he’d been looking at her, and _still_ she had made a fool of herself and tried to –

Rose whirled around in surprise as the door to the library banged open, her eyebrows lifting up her forehead at the sight of the Doctor striding back in, towards her. “Is everything okay?”

The Doctor stopped in front of the sofa, his chest rising and falling quickly with his breaths in and out. “No.” He shook his head. “No, it isn’t, really.”

Her heart leapt to her throat. “Shit, look, if you want me to go home because of what I did, I sort of understand, but you don’t have to do that, I swear I won’t do that again - ”

His brow furrowed and he shook his head again, even more vigorously. “Not what I meant. Not – I’d never take you home over something like that. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Rose sighed. “Then, what?” The Doctor just stood there, staring at her, until she lost her patience and stood up. “Then _what,_ Doctor?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I don’t…”

The Doctor raised his hands, reaching for her, and Rose’s breath hitched. Cupping both her cheeks this time, his thumbs stroking gently at her skin, he leant down. Rose gripped his lapels as he slanted his mouth over hers, returning his kiss cautiously, wondering if he would pull away again at any second. But then one of his hands dropped to her waist, his arm winding around her to draw her against him, and he deepened the kiss, showing no signs of pulling back. Rose melted into it, kissing him back in earnest, clutching at his jacket for support as he moved his tongue against hers.

Minutes later they were back on the sofa, only now, rather than their pleasant and mostly platonic closeness of earlier, they were in a far more intimate position. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he groaned, even as he slipped his hand beneath the waistband of her pyjama bottoms to grab her arse, hauling her more firmly into his lap. “We should really stop.”

Rose rocked against him, whimpering as his mouth latched onto her neck, nibbling and sucking so hard that she was almost certain he was going to leave her with a good few hickeys by the time they’d finished. “Don’t want to stop,” she replied eventually, sinking her hands into his hair.

“We need to move this somewhere else, though,” he pointed out, with a squeeze to her bum. “In case someone walks in on us.”

“Thought you said they were out visiting all day.”

“They are, but you never know. Better to be safe than sorry. Come on,” he said, moving her off him and standing up, holding his hand out to her to pull her up and into him.

“My room?”

“Yeah.”

::

She woke up slowly, stretching her limbs as awareness crept upon her, reminding her of how she and the Doctor had fallen into bed with one another yesterday evening. Smiling shyly, she counted to three in her head, preparing herself for wishing him good morning.

When she rolled over, however, she realised he was gone. A cold sensation travelled down her spine and settled in her stomach. At first, she tried to rationalise it to herself; it wasn’t like the Doctor needed as much sleep as her, so he had probably just got bored waiting for her to wake up and gone off to amuse himself. Or maybe he had just wanted to play it safe, get back to his own room or the library or some other innocuous place on the TARDIS so that when their friends returned, they wouldn’t see him leaving Rose’s bedroom at a suspicious time of day.

But mostly she was worried that he regretted it, and the thought of that kept her in bed for another fifteen minutes, anxiety over what she would say to him making her feel sick.

::

He wasn’t talking to her. Not like he normally did, anyway. It was all clipped answers and mumbles and Rose was furious. She’d only been in the console room half an hour, but this was intolerable. The others would start to notice if he wasn’t careful. Thankfully, they had already departed for the shops on the planet Decora.

Finally, Rose had enough of him averting her perfectly normal conversation. “Look, we can forget what happened last night if you want. But I can’t deal with this, you not even looking at me.”

The Doctor rubbed at his eyes, still turned away from her.

“I mean it, Doctor. I just want things to go back to normal, yeah? If we can’t – if you don’t want to do what we did again, then that’s fine, but I need us to still be friends, to be able to go back to how it was before.”

He nodded, and she heaved a sigh.

“Whatever. I’m going outside to get some air. You decide what you want,” she said, before storming out of the TARDIS doors.

::

Of course today had to be one of those days where they get themselves into trouble. Of course. Rose couldn’t quite believe the speed with which the Doctor had found them a mystery to solve and a rebellion to start; but evidently he needed something to keep him occupied, so that he wouldn’t be forced to talk about what happened last night. To be honest, Rose couldn’t blame him, because as much as she needed answers, she didn’t want to hear what she suspected he was going to say to her, so she’d avoid the topic all the while he did, too.

For most of the day they were apart, anyway - she’d partnered up with Jack, for a change, and they’d been over the other side of town for hours.

Predictably, he’d noticed something was up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, you can tell me,” Jack said, linking his arm through hers. “What’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing. Really. Just…” Rose tried to come up with an excuse. “It’s my mum, that’s all. She’s been on at me about how long I’m gonna be doing this travelling thing for, stuff like that.”

Jack whistled. “Jackie still not convinced this is the way for you to live your life then?”

“Ha, nope. Thinks the novelty will wear off and I’ll soon leave him. Him and you lot, I mean.” She cleared her throat. “Obviously, that’s not gonna happen.”

“You belong on the TARDIS, Rose,” Jack agreed. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

::

Later, Rose and Jack had got separated, and when she managed to find the Doctor, he was on his own, too. He had a stormy look upon his face and barely said anything as they crept carefully along the street, trying to get back to the TARDIS without being caught by the guards of the military leader they had pissed off.

“Ugh, you know what, I’ve had enough of this,” she said after a few minutes, and grabbed his hand, pulling him into an alleyway to hide from the guards more discreetly. Once they were obscured from view by a rubbish bin or two, she dropped his hand.

“Right. What’s your problem?”

“You don’t expect me to discuss this right now.”

“Course I don’t. But you have to face it at some point, and to be honest, you’re being a bit of a dick about all this. If you didn’t want it, me, then you shouldn’t have slept with me last night - ”

“Shush!” the Doctor hissed.

“What, embarrassed by me now?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. “It’s just that now is really not the time for - for - for _domestics.”_

“Well pardon me for talking!”

The Doctor glared at her, and she was about to say more, when they heard footsteps. He shook his head, telling her with his eyes to keep quiet. The footsteps grew closer.

He backed her into the wall and shielded her from potential guards with his body.

“You don’t have to do that,” she whispered in frustration. “I’m not an idiot, I can take care of myself.”

“You’re also not really wearing something that blends into the background,” he retorted, voice low. “ _I_ am camouflaged, with this brown suit and that brown wall; I doubt they’ll notice us as they pass. So stand still and be quiet.”

She huffed, and pressed her back against the wall, putting as much distance between their bodies as possible - which, given the way he was crowding her, was barely three inches. She looked up at him to find him watching her closely.

“If you regret it now,” she whispered, feeling brave. “Why did it feel so good last night?”

He closed his eyes.

“‘Cos it did. Didn’t it?” Rose continued. “I know you think so too. It was amazing. The way you kissed me.” She paused, warring with herself, nibbling on her bottom lip as she considered her next words. “The way you…felt. Inside me.”

With a groan of either annoyance or arousal – Rose couldn’t tell which in the dim light, couldn’t see the look in his eyes when they fluttered open – he leant down and captured her mouth in a fierce kiss. Rose grabbed the hair at the back of his head, angling him just right for her to deepen the kiss, and when his hips jerked into hers, pressing her against the wall, she groaned.

He clutched at her waist, but drew his head back, panting. “Rose…it’s - ”

Her phone started to ring. She pushed at his chest to get him off her as she fumbled quickly for her mobile, worried the guards would hear it. It was Martha.

“Where are you? We’re almost back at the TARDIS, are you all right?”

“Yeah,” Rose whispered. “I think so.” She watched the Doctor step carefully to the edge of the alley, poking his head out. Then, he gave her a thumbs up. She sighed in relief; the guards had gone. “Think we can get back okay now. See you soon.”

“Bye!”

She hung up, and pocketed her phone. “TARDIS?” she murmured to the Doctor.

He nodded. “It’s all clear. Let’s go before they patrol back in this direction.”

::

“I’m starving,” announced Martha, once they’d all returned to the TARDIS. “I’m gonna go and cook some dinner.”

“I’ll come with,” said Jack, slinging his arm around her shoulders. “Could use something to eat before crashing for the night.”

Rose hesitated at the console, watching the Doctor as he silently fiddled with a few buttons. She really needed to talk to him. Glancing at Donna, she wondered if she could hint to the other woman that she wanted her leave without her jumping to conclusions or feeling pushed out. But Donna was already plonking down on the jumpseat, chatting with the Doctor about their latest close call, and Rose fidgeted, disheartened by how easily Donna could cajole the Time Lord into talking and laughing, when he could barely even look at her.

She knew it was silly, and unfair, to get upset about it. But after his disappearing act this morning, and his harsh words, and then his sudden kiss not even half hour ago, she needed him to let her know where they stood. Heaving a sigh, she made a point of telling them she was going to the kitchen to help Martha and Jack, and didn’t wait for a response in case there was none.

::

Watching Rose leave the room, the Doctor leant his bum against the console, closing his eyes.

“What’s going on between you two, then?” Donna asked, folding her arms.

He looked at her in confusion. “What?”

“You and Rose? You’ve barely spoken, today. What’s happened?”

“Ah. We, er, we had a difference of opinion.”

Donna smiled softly, sympathy in her eyes. “Lovers’ tiff? Don’t worry, it’ll sort itself out - ”

“What?”

“I said don’t worry - ”

“No, the - before that. We - that’s not - Rose and I aren’t lovers.”

He frowned when Donna laughed.

“Oh. Oh, you’re serious?” she said, sobering.

“Why would you assume - ”

“Because you look at each other with big puppy eyes all the time. And you’re always holding hands, I mean, it’s sickening, but also sort of sweet.”

The Doctor tugged on his ear. “Right. No. We - no.”

“Why not?”

“Sorry?”

“Why aren’t - oh my god. You didn’t reject her, did you? That’s not why she’s been moping around all day, is it?”

“I - no. No, not exactly.” He shook himself, then. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well we’re halfway there now, you might as well tell me the whole story,” Donna said eagerly. “Come on, what does ‘not exactly’ mean? If you’ve broken that poor girl’s heart I swear to god - ”

“Donna, I don’t do relationships, and I definitely don’t do talking about relationships. End of discussion.” He turned his back to her, pretending to input something onto the console screen.

“Oi! You can’t ignore this! This is huge!”

“You don’t even know what happened.”

“Okay, but I’m betting it went something like, she tried to kiss you and you backed off. Am I right?”

He sighed, hanging his head in defeat, and murmured, “It went a bit like that at first, yeah.”

“At first?”

“Oh, blimey.” He turned around to face her again, wincing. “Donna, I messed up.”

Looking concerned, she patted the space next to her on the jumpseat, and the Doctor grumpily sat down. “Tell me what happened.”

He inhaled deeply and then let it out in a harsh release of breath. “Last night. While you lot were still out doing your visits.” He paused, rubbing at his eye. “Rose and I…we went to bed together.”

Donna gasped, and clutched his arm. “Oh my god.”

“It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have - but I just - ” he broke off, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to - how to cope with all this.” He gestured vaguely with his hand. “All this, this stuff.” Donna was quiet for a few moments, and he glanced at her warily. There was pity in her expression and he sighed again. “You know, don’t you,” he murmured.

“How you feel about her? Course I do. I’ve known for ages.”

“Right.”

“Does she?”

“No.” His eyebrows drew together. “I mean, last night was…” He let out a whoosh of breath. “It was perfect, but I don’t think she has a clue that I - the thing is, that doesn’t matter. It just can’t matter. It can’t happen.”

“But if you care about her so much, then why can’t you just let yourself be happy with her?”

He shook his head. “I’m supposed to - ”

“Screw ‘supposed to!’ You have to do what feels right. And if it feels right to you to take a step back from her, to deny your feelings, then whatever. But I don’t think it does, does it? I think you know that it doesn’t feel right. That what felt right was what happened last night.”

“It’ll complicate things…”

“Yes. That’s what love is. Complicated. And amazing. Blimey, I’d be dancing for joy if someone looked at me the way you two look at each other.”

At this, the Doctor smiled. “There’s someone out there for you, Donna.”

“I know there is. Just gotta find ‘em. You, however, already have your someone and she’s sitting feeling sorry for herself in the TARDIS kitchen.”

He chewed his lip anxiously. “I left her to wake up alone this morning.”

“Yeah, not a great move. But she’ll forgive you.” Donna paused. “You want to be with her, don’t you?”

The Doctor felt his throat tighten. “Yeah.” Then, louder, bolder, “Yes, I do.”

“Then I think you’d better stop with the mixed signals.”

“I kissed her earlier.”

Donna rolled her eyes. “Exactly. You couldn’t keep away from her if you tried. So for God’s sake, Doctor, just go and bloody apologise to her for freaking out before it’s too late.”

“Now?”

“Yes!”

He straightened his tie, then his jacket. “All right,” he breathed out roughly, then stood up. Before he left for the corridor, he turned back to Donna with a grateful if nervous smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she beamed at him.

Then he sniffed and added, “Perhaps don’t tell anyone about this. I don’t know if she wanted anyone to know about last night, about…us.”

“My lips are sealed.”

::

“Rose?” said Martha, as she settled a bowl of salad on the table.

“Yeah?”

“You keep sighing. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Jack and Martha shared an awkward glance.

“Really, it’s nothing,” insisted Rose.

Rolling his eyes, Jack sat down next to her. “Well, that’s a lie. And, I know you were lying earlier, too. This mood of yours has nothing to do with your mum. Come on, you can tell Uncle Jack. What is it really?”

“Uncle?” Martha snorted, sitting down on the other side of Rose.

Rose sighed heavily again. “Okay, look. You have to promise you won’t say anything to the Doctor.”

“Knew it was about him,” Jack grinned, then modified his expression after a sharp look from Martha. “Sorry. What’s he done?”

Nibbling nervously on her bottom lip, Rose looked at the ceiling, then back at her friends. “Here’s the thing. He’s freaking out, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, what’s he freaking out about?” asked Martha.

Rose folded her arms on the table and buried her face in them. “We slept together,” she mumbled.

“Yes!” shouted Jack, holding out his hand. “You owe me ten quid.”

Martha shook her head. “I told you, I’m their friend and I refuse to bet on that.”

Rose lifted her head. “You knew?”

“That you two were together? Please,” Jack retorted. “The universe knows. Except Martha.”

“Hey!”

“No, wait, you’ve got it wrong,” said Rose quickly. “We aren’t together. It just happened once. Last night.”

“Ha!” said Martha, holding out her hand. “Now who owes ten quid?”

“You said you wouldn’t bet on that!” exclaimed Rose.

Martha retracted her hand sheepishly. “Right. That’s right. I wouldn’t do that. But for the record, I knew you two hadn’t got together properly yet.”

Rose sighed again, resting her head on Martha’s shoulder. “You’re way more perceptive than him,” she said, gesturing to Jack. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What, does he regret it?” asked Jack, in disbelief. “‘Cos if he said that, he’s lying. There’s no way - ”

“There’s every way that man would run from what makes him happy, and you know it,” Martha interrupted. “That’s exactly what’s happened, isn’t it? He’s got scared and run off.”

Rose sniffed. “Yeah.”

“Listen, Rose,” Martha said softly, and Rose lifted her head to meet her eyes. “Anyone can see the Doctor’s arse over elbow for you. He’s just…”

“An emotionally incompetent wanker,” Jack stated, with dramatic flair. “What you need to do is seduce him, wear something sexy and persuade him with your womanly wiles that he’d be better off taking you to bed again.”

Martha rolled her eyes. “No, what Rose needs to do is talk to him.”

“That’s not nearly as exciting as my suggestion.”

“But, the most rational,” Martha insisted.

“I know,” Rose groaned. “I know I should talk to him. But he keeps clamming up. Refusing to look me in the eye and just tell me what he wants. And then he kissed me earlier, out of the blue, and I just…god, he’s just _infuriating._ ”

“Honey, he doesn’t know his own mind.”

“Who doesn’t?” came a voice from the doorway.

Rose flushed red in embarrassment. “Er…Mickey. I was telling Jack and Martha about my friend Mickey.”

“Your ex-boyfriend Mickey?” the Doctor sniffed, stepping into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, Rose was telling us what a fool he was,” Jack said, glaring at the Time Lord. “How he let Rose slip through his fingers because he didn’t know how to tell her the truth.”

“Mmhmm,” said Martha, joining in, “And how he ran away like a coward rather than face his own feelings.”

The Doctor nodded absently, plucking a cherry tomato out of the bowl of untouched salad on the table. As he ate it, he mumbled, “You three are truly terrible liars. Remind me never to get us in a situation where a polygraph is required. A twenty-third century polygraph, that is, not one of the beatable ones from your time.” He sat down, and propped his feet up on the seat of another chair.

“That was intentional. We were hinting, Doctor,” huffed Jack.

The Doctor’s eyebrows rose. “Ever heard of subtlety?” he inquired.

“Subtlety’s about as useful with you as a chocolate teapot,” Martha said crossly, folding her arms.

“Right. Here’s the thing, though; I do know my own mind.” He met Rose’s eyes across the table. “Rose, can we talk?”

Rose, who had been attempting to sink to the floor and possibly become swallowed by it to cope with the mortifying situation she’d found herself in, jumped at the direct question. “Um. Yeah.”

“Great.” He glanced at Jack and Martha. Pointedly. Then, he sighed. “Right, apparently I’m too subtle.” Standing up, he dusted off his trousers and headed out of the door. “Meet you in the library, Rose.”

“What a fucking prick,” announced Jack, once the Doctor had left.

Rose stood on shaky legs. “He’s not…”

“Jack’s just embracing being on your side, Rose,” Martha smiled reassuringly. “Listen, if things go wrong in there, you come back here and tell us, okay? Don’t feel like you have to be upset on your own. We’re here for you.” Donna entered the kitchen, then, and Martha nodded at her. “Aren’t we, Donna?”

“What’s that?”

“We’re here for Rose if the Doctor ends up being a fucking prick,” Martha said calmly. Her three friends stared at her in shock, and she lifted her chin. “What? I can swear.”

Jack grinned. “It’s kind of sexy.”

Donna picked up the salad spoon and donked him on the head with it. “Go talk to the Doctor,” she said to Rose. “It’ll be all right. Promise.”

Rose fiddled nervously with the hem of her hoodie. “Okay. Yeah. Thanks, guys.”

“Good luck!” they chorused, as she went out into the corridor.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe properly as she wandered towards the library. She didn’t know what he was going to say, didn’t know what she’d respond with if he told her they could never repeat last night, or if he wanted her to leave, or if he wanted…

Steeling herself, Rose placed her hand on the doorknob, and walked inside. “Hey,” she murmured.

He turned around to face her, his jaw clenched tight. “Hey.”

She let the door close.

::

Rose rushed to speak before him. “Before you say anything, I just want you to know that I want to stay. Here. With you and the others. I want to stay, no matter what you - ” she paused, swallowing hard. “No matter what you say about me and you.”

There was several feet of distance between them, Rose being frozen in her spot close to the door, so the Doctor walked slowly over to her. Taking her hands in his, he entwined their fingers, startled to feel hers shaking, wanting to reassure her, wanting both of their racing pulses to sync. “I want you to stay,” he murmured.

She exhaled roughly. “Okay. Good.”

They were both silent for a few moments, until the Doctor met her gaze and said, “I’m sorry.”

Biting into her bottom lip, fighting against the prickling sensation in her eyes, Rose nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“All this…I’m not used to it.”

“Mmm.”

“I don’t do this, Rose. I’ve always held back, kept things, I don’t know, platonic. It’s never been difficult, really, I’ve had centuries of practice and the temptation for more is rare for someone like me. I mean, I’m usually not even interested in that sort of thing.”

“I understand,” she said softly.

“I don’t know if you do.” He shook his head. “These months with you…” Giving her hands a squeeze, he stepped closer, then laughed. “Blimey. This is ridiculous. I can barely speak.” He let go of one of her hands to run his through his hair awkwardly. “Do you, er. Do you ever get the horrible sensation that you’ve somehow ingested butterflies?”

Rose couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, those are pretty common. In fact I’m pretty sure Martha must’ve put some in that salad,” she joked.

The Doctor smiled back, relief settling into his bones. “Oh, that’s all right then.” Then he paused, squinting at her. “Hold on, did you even eat any of that?”

“No,” she laughed. “I was just trying to lighten things up.”

“Right. It’s good, though. That you didn’t eat any of it.”

“Why’s that?”

“She put that horrible dressing Donna likes on it. You know, the spicy one from Altrus Three. That tomato I ate was covered in the stuff.”

“I dunno, I think it gives it a bit of taste, a nice bit of zing.”

“Well, I disagree.”

Her eyes flickered down briefly, and then she looked up at him through her eyelashes. “Why is it good that I didn’t eat any of it, then?” she asked, her expression shy but her tone knowing.

He raised both his hands to her face, cradling her cheeks, and her breath hitched as he took another step closer. The lapels of his jacket brushed her chest. “If I promise not to be an idiot afterwards this time, can I kiss you?”

She wound her arms around his waist, palms sliding up his back. “Yeah.”

The Doctor leant down, pressing his lips to hers. It was gentle, and chaste, because they still needed to talk before they got carried away again. But he slid his hand from her cheek to cup the back of her neck, his thumb stroking her jaw, and Rose opened her mouth beneath his, encouraging him to deepen the kiss. After a few moments he pulled away, resting their foreheads together.

“So, um,” Rose started to whisper, unwilling to spoil the moment but needing to know, “What’s the deal here, then? You don’t do this, except now you do, so is this…”

“Come sit with me,” he murmured, taking her hand and leading her over to their sofa by the fire. They sat down next to each other, turning their bodies slightly so that their knees touched. “Rose. I know what I want. I know that I shouldn’t - but I know I can’t help it.” He swallowed. “Donna had a chat with me before I came to find you. She made me talk about it,” he laughed, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. “She made me realise that I need to be honest with you. I mean, I knew that already, theoretically, but she made me realise that I couldn’t get away with pretending that you knew how I felt and thus convincing myself that I didn’t need to say it.”

Rose smiled slowly, and reached out to brush a bit of fluff from his jacket lapel. “Doctor, all I need to know is whether we can keep up the kissing and - ”

“I’m in love with you.”

“ - stuff. Oh.”

He stared at her. She stared back.

When she noticed the crinkle start to form between his eyebrows, she leant forwards, resting her forearms on his shoulders. “Are you sure?” she whispered, biting her lip to contain her grin.

The corner of his mouth lifted. “I definitely wouldn’t have said it if I wasn’t.”

Getting to her knees, she edged closer. “That’s quite lucky.” There was no hiding her grin now.

Helping her lift her leg to straddle his lap, the Doctor replied casually, “Oh, is it?”

“Yep.” Her eyes were bright. Happy. “I love you too.”

“What a fortunate coincidence,” he chuckled.

“I know, right?”

He trailed his hand down her back, his smile widening as she shivered under his touch. Then, he frowned, his expression becoming serious.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I’m sorry I ruined it. Last night. It was fantastic and then I bollocksed it up by leaving this morning while you were asleep.”

“And acting weird with me all day.”

“And that, yeah. I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay.”

“Is it though?”

“It will be. Once you make it up to me.” She shot him a flirty grin, her tongue touching the corner of her mouth.

He slipped his hands into the back pockets of her jeans, pulling her closer. “I have every intention of doing just that, Rose Tyler. Where do you want me to start?”


End file.
